I remember you back then,
you were never innocent.
You had that gleam in your eyes,
skin glowing with hidden desires-
you were never innocent,
you used to play with fire.
Held your fingers too close to the flames
nervous giggles as the temperature rose
jerking back quickly when you got too close
and laughing hysterically, it was all a game.

Till you got burned.

Ah, there used to be such fire in your heart.
You would poke it, stoking it till it arose-
feeding it with wood, fuel and coal,
till the day it burned you and you got cold
what happened to you?
Don't say age, you never got old
yet your present is your past's shadow
What happened to you?

Or maybe you're peeling?
reeling from your past's dealings?
maybe all this time I got it wrong,
maybe you're phoenix and you're rising-
from the ashes, you're emerging
Is that you? maybe I got it wrong
is that your skin shedding?
sliding off your your back, slipping?

Man, I swear I thought I lost you
But you're becoming brand new.

You are a King


Raised from dust, crafted by the hands of the Master Himself
He set you high on your throne, apart and filled with power
I see power when I look at you
Body glistening under the hot sun as you pull your weight
Forehead creased in a frown as you create
you create, just like He first created

I rub red dirt between my palms and let them fall to the ground
in the hot afternoon heat, I watch your figure emerge.
First a blur, I try to discern you, your purpose
The reason he put you here first, before me
Tracing the soil with my fingers, you appear
All that I am not and never will be.


I am faced with my inadequacies, my inabilities
and for the first time I see in you, all that I need.
The half to this whole lies in your heart, waiting to be explored
a journey of self discovery I watch you embark on.
With an iron grip and an unrelenting heart
you brave the storms, steering your ship through dangerous tides
while wielding the strength of a thousand oceans,
yet you come out clean.


It amazes me to see hands callused from the helm
gently caress and care, your heart filled with compassion
as you are moved by the plight of others, then
I watch you, completely awestruck,
as you humble yourself, kneel before your God
and pour out every bit of yourself.
Shrouded in pure honesty and vulnerability.
I watch you and in that moment I see we are the same,
We are two halves melting into each other,
forming a whole.

You are a King,
I recognize you now as my vision gets clearer.
Raised from dust, crafted by the hands of the Master Himself
he set you high on your throne, apart, and gave you rule.
Wiping the dirt off my hand, I say a silent prayer for you.
I pray you never forget.

This is a love poem, from Woman to Man. I realize I am surrounded by great men in my life, my father being number one, who will lay down their lives for their families and surrender themselves completely to God first. They are incredibly strong, yet incredibly loving and that amazes me, so I decided to write an ode to those men. They remind me of God's love for us as well. A pillar of fire when He needs to be and a soft and gentle whisper at other times, yet with one motivation: his great love for us. 

Stay blessed.

What's causing you to bite your nails little one?
Lost in thought and completely zoned out?
Is it the worries that so conveniently camp out on your shoulders?
The wariness that starts from the pit of your stomach
and wells up in a storm over your heart,
leaving lines and crisscrosses across your face?

What's causing you to shift your eyes so, little one?
Has the journey suddenly become unbearable?
Is it so overwhelming the waves of despair?
Has foreboding become a familiar omen?
hanging in the air like a clear cloud,
seducing you into slow suicide as it tugs at your heartstrings?

What's biting at you my love?

Did you dig yourself a pit in a puddle?
Are you finding it hard to breathe, are you struggling?
Have you searched for a solution but come short?
And a hurricane has become your heart
shielding you from sunshine, my love?
are you lost?
Have your repeated efforts failed you?
The solutions you thought answers, eluded you?
The path you picked for yourself, become a dead end?

Is there nowhere left to go?
Nothing left to do?
Has the world's offerings expired
and their senseless ways left you tired?
Have you suddenly realized the frailty of man
and the mistakes that get repeated over time?
Are you looking for a way out?
Is it that time?

                                                                                           Come to me.

Like the fishermen do on the edge of their boats, hearts hopeful and expectations held high, they cast their nets into the sea, praying for sustenance to come swimming in. Waiting, hoping, expecting.

 He says again, waiting, patient                                         Come to me

Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you. He will never allow the righteous to be shaken (Psalm 55:22)

On a more realistic note, it's 2015 and I haven't felt the impact of a new year as much as I do now. I can't help but think of the many people that are going into this New Year without a smile or a laugh, some are bracing themselves for the worst and yet others are extremely hopeful. I, myself, am on the fence. 

This is the time we decide to move on, make new plans, take new chances and make up our minds. A lot of the decisions we make are hard at this time, some are painful and extremely sad. Some of these decisions will prove to be extremely difficult to maintain as the months go by and hopefully most of them will get clearer, make more sense and get easier as we go along. Still we can't deny the fact that they are hard.

There are those, like me, who have no idea what to expect this New Year. I am hopeful for a lot of things though, some really big things (some require a miracle to happen). Maybe you're throwing your hands up so to speak and are saying something along the lines of 'God have your way'. You might not have a big decision to make, you might just be waiting, and still waiting, carrying some hopes and wishes over from last year. It's maddening isn't it? Because you have no idea if what you hope for could really happen! If you're a Christian, you're probably holding on to faith for dear life, believing God for the thing that he said he will do in your life. I'm with you there and sincerely pray that you're given the strength to hold on. One thing I've learned is to not let the voices around you (and sometimes in your head) keep you from believing. Thank God he is faithful, even when we're faithless, this is my only concrete expectation this new year.

If you lost something recently there's a Bible verse my dad would always share with me in the early days of my past break-up. In my case, I thought I had lost love and could never get it back again. He shared a verse with me from Hebrews 11:17. Abraham has a bad rep for being a terrible father by worldly standards, yet his faith was immense. This verse talks about his mindset for obeying God and killing his son (sounds horrible, but stay with me) it says "By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had embraced the promises (God made to him about being the father of many children) was about to sacrifice his one and only son, even though God had said to him "It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned" (then get this) vs 19. Abraham reasoned that God could even raise the dead, and so in a manner of speaking he did receive Isaac back from the dead. 

Abraham believed God instantly when God told him to look up, count the stars in the sky and that will be the number of children he would have. After many years of not seeing this great miracle (because his wife was already past child-birthing age) and a bump on the road (trying to take matters in their own hands) God blessed him with one son from his wife, Isaac. Fast forward a few years later and God was telling him to sacrifice that one son. Thank God for eyes but sometimes we put unnecessary responsibility on them for determining our destiny. Just because you don't see it, or because you see something different than what was expected, doesn't mean that's where the story ends. That's why the Bible says to trust in the Lord with your heart and not rely on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:15) because sometimes will not see what he sees (most of the time actually). Abraham had so much trust and faith in God that he thought, well you said you would bless me with a son, so if you want him now, surely you would bring him back. Can you imagine how painful that must have been for him though? That climb up the mountain must have put him in some kind of way.

So tying this back to my original intent, my dad would always tell me to receive what was taken from me, back from the dead. He would tell me to have faith that love will return. I'm not saying it will come back from the exact same source but the faith I have towards a wonderful marriage, kids etc. will be fulfilled. The same message goes to everyone that has lost something or someone. I'm not even going to pretend like I know what you're going through but I do know that it could feel like the pain never ends and some days you may be fighting a losing battle with your emotions but still have faith. Receive happiness, joy, peace, love, laughter, fulfillment, hope, family, friendship and companionship back from the dead because God genuinely wants these things for us. 

If you're making a big decision this time of the year, or still living with a big decision you made last year. The same still applies to you, have faith, receive joy and hope. I recently saw a post that said 'There is no earthly solution for heavenly burdens. Come to God'. What are those Earthly burdens? from my experience they are intense feelings of loneliness that seem to come from nowhere, an incompleteness, a lack of joy, peace, fulfillment and a feeling that you're meant to be somewhere, doing something else than what you're currently doing. Usually they are followed by the question "is this all there is to life?" The answer is very simple and it's come to God. In your own way, on your own terms, exactly just as you are. 

I'm writing this and very much speaking to myself. I personally struggle with the 'how', how do I do these things? Then I run around trying to manually get them for myself and fall flat on my face. God comes again and tells me to trust him, be still, wait and be led by him. I'm reminded that his timing is perfect and in the meantime, deepen my relationship with him, read his word and let his spirit lead me. So if you're like me and everyone else is making New Year’s resolutions and you have no concrete plans or you have plans but they're less shallow and grittier than the usual. I hope this speaks to you in some way. 

Come to God.

Oh and the story about Abraham sacrificing his son, in case you didn't know, it has a happy ending. He ended up not killing his son. yay (?)

So with 2015 now here, I have been doing A LOT of thinking about the future..the usual..and as a twenty-something year old African woman, just graduated from University, the frequently asked questions go something along the lines of 'so what's next in your life' *hint hint* with a nudge and a wink, meaning marriage *sigh*. And the big discussions in most of my girl groups revolve around this same topic. We can go on for hours talking about men, weddings, marriages and so on. It's sad, yet exciting at the same time, like doing cocaine (I wouldn't know, I just imagine it could be like that...or not). And of course, with half of my Facebook news-feed portraying marriage proposals, engagements, weddings or new children, there seems to be no way getting around the fact that this is actually happening in my life and so I thought I should address it.

So while addressing this, I have decided that I don't want to be chased by a guy/man. Okay I lie, I do..and that's the problem. I shouldn't want to be chased by anybody.

Chasing implies that I am running away from the chaser and I don't want to run away from the man that I will marry. I want to be found where I am and to find him where he is. I have come to realize that choosing a life partner for me, and I think most people in this generation, has to be a deliberate and intentional choice. I need to try and test every notion and whim before making a decision, because going off my emotions is disastrous. So I need to make this decision and stick to it (they say it's for life) so I can't be running away from it.

Also, I wouldn't respect a chaser. I am obviously running away for a reason and you either have to be extremely arrogant and have a low view of me (as a prize) to continue chasing, or you have to have a really low self-esteem and not believe that you deserve better than the girl that doesn't want to be with you. Or maybe you're like Hosea and God has told you that I am your Gomer (eek! I'll stop there). No, I'd rather skip the drama and games and just get on with things. 

This is easier said than done though because regardless of how much this makes sense to me, I still have to deal with the things that cause me to create drama where there is no need: Selfishness and a need to be in control. I strongly believe those are at the root of wanting to be chased.  The need to have it go your way, you essentially want to control the other person. The moment there is no response, things don't go your way or the other person isn't crawling on the floor begging for your love, you get sad. You start to feel sorry for yourself and carry that negative energy into the world around you. The funny thing is when they do respond, or reach out to you, all of a sudden they lose value in your eyes. You set yourself up on an ungodly pedestal and that is not love in any shape or form.

I would rather live my life without all this, but in order to deal with it, selfishness and a need to control people and situations need to fly out the window (herein lies my new year’s resolution :P).
I don't want to control my partner and I strongly believe that as I grow and become more like Christ, this nature will disintegrate.

This leads me into my fourth point for not wanting to be chased. Acts 20:24 "However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace"

This verse always comes to mind while I think of all this. We talk as if our sole purpose here on earth is to get married..and yes we don't mean to but that loneliness still creeps up, that feeling of inadequacy because we're not paired up makes us feel lost like we're incomplete somehow. This summer I read a lot about God's purpose for our lives and started thinking 'what if I wasn't supposed to get married'. I want to and I hope to someday, but what if I don't. Tell this to a group of African women and watch them suck their teeth and shake their heads at you. After all, that is not..should not...be my aim. 

So in light of all this, my last reason for not wanting to be chased is this: I would rather my partner chase the task that God has set out for him than chase me. I too would like to chase after my task as well and I'd rather he meet me somewhere on the course and we both finish the race together.

Don't get me wrong, I know I'm supposed to act like a rare and beautiful flower that some lucky man will come and pluck up someday. And I believe ladies (and gentlemen) should value themselves thoroughly (not by worldly standards but by the value God has placed on you which is greater and more scandalous than we sometimes claim) but I don't believe that that includes getting chased by some person. If you measure your worth by the amount of 'chasing' you get, I'm afraid you've missed it. Also, if you need to take some time and figure out whether or not you want to be with someone, I think that's wise too. As long as the whole point is not to string some poor person along just for your own glorification, or to want to string said person along. 

The End.

No, I have not attempted to break the internet with my greasy bum, or released a hit album that has people tripping over themselves trying to get a copy. I have not recently amassed a huge fortune of any kind or solved global warming. I did not save the polar bears. I did not feed a whole village in a poverty-ridden country somewhere (still working on that one) or end malaria, AIDS or Ebola. I have not accomplished any of the above, and I may not anytime soon, but I am still pretty frickin' incredible.

Let me tell you why...move in a little closer..

Twenty-three years ago I was brought into this world, and in all those years I have lived. I have seen things, felt things, I have been hurt, I have been happy. I have made mistakes, I have sworn never to do certain things again and well...I did them again. I have cried so hard I fell asleep and I have laughed so hard till I cried. I have learned things. I have trusted people I never should have and I have ignored people I should have listened to.

I have been lucky enough to go to certain places; some, I stayed too long at and some I wished I had stayed longer. I have been so bored I thought I would go out of mind and I have been so excited I thought I would throw up. I have been so awkward it hurt to breathe and I have been so relaxed...so relaxed...what happened to those days?

I have missed opportunities because I was too afraid and I have courageously seized moments without looking back. I have been so quiet, I and my opinions disappeared into thin air. I have been so loud about my opinions, I lost some 'friends'. I have judged wrongly, I have judged rightly. The list goes on..the point is: I have experienced things.

I do not know how long I have left to live, but for the past twenty-three years I woke up every morning, alive. Before you roll your eyes, stop and and think for a moment. Every morning for the past however many years you are, you woke up! Life might not be where you hoped it would be, but that does not take away from the fact that you are. You had your highs and lows, you experienced things, you could teach some things! You have first-hand knowledge of a wide variety of life experiences that is unmatched with anyone else. You have thoughts and opinions running through your head, you believe certain things for a reason and you disregard others for the same reason. There is a reason that you are. That I am.

If you would like, if you would take the chance, if you could swim through all that is holding you back, you have life-altering resources at your fingertips, the supernatural running through your veins. You could put a smile on another's face or leave it with a frown. You could impact another's soul so much, all they want is to be like you, or you could leave them cringing with a bitter taste in their mouth. You might think you're a ghost, floating from one place to another, unnoticed, neglected, abandoned but that is impossible. If you would let your hands go for a moment and feel the ground underneath your feet, you will see that you are here. You will see that the walls you are creating in your head do nothing but blind you from the ground beneath your feet and the sky filled with opportunities above you.

You. Have. Power. I do too! That is why I am incredible. We might not have made Forbes' 100 Most Powerful People or be looking to make that list one day, but just for being, for being a 'being' each of us are incredible. They say it is only dead fish that swim against the current, and everyday we rebel against the course of the river. Some days we give in and become like cattle and run in the same direction when in the 'great inside' we want to run the other way. That is why we are incredible, for wanting to turn around. You are you, you are a flame, you can start a fire, you can burn a bush or light up an entire forest. It is up to the you that is you.

To conclude, I am saying that because I am alive, breathing, I come in contact with others and I am filled with life experiences that have shaped me, I have power to make a difference in someway. Whether it be in the moment, hour, day, life of a single person or the entire world's population. Whether it be in the corporate world, or in the polar bear world, the fact that I can is what makes me frickin' incredible. I might not feel like it always and even though I just wrote all this, I do not feel very incredible at this particular moment but it has NOTHING to do with how I feel. It is a fact, it just IS, when I am at my lowest-low I am still frickin' incredible. The End.

I have managed to compare you to a ghost, fish, cow and fire. See? you can be whatever the heck you wanna be, so go'on now with your incredible self!

©inthequiett. Powered by Blogger.